Shipping Policy

We ship hard & fast. That's right, all business over here.

When we receive your order, we aim to process it within 1-2 business days and we'll send it out via USPS Priority Mail, which typically delivers in 1-3 days. Impressed? Not so fast. Apparel takes 2 weeks. It's your fault for waiting so long. Why don't you listen to your mom, stop playing snake on your phone, and plan ahead for deadbeat.

We currently only ship to addresses within the USA. We'll take over the world next.

Return Policy

We have a 30-day return policy, which means you have 30 days after receiving your item to request a return. But why would you ever want to give up your greatness?

To be eligible for a return, your item must be in the same condition that you received it, unworn or unused, with tags, and in its original packaging. You’ll also need the receipt or proof of purchase.

To start a return, you can contact us at If your return is accepted, we’ll send you instructions regarding how and where to send your package. Items sent back to us without first requesting a return will not be accepted and return shipping costs are the responsibility of the customer.